Warning: This one's lengthy...
Sometimes you can’t swallow a pill because it’s not meant to
be swallowed.
The following is a lesson in several old and true sayings:
What goes around comes around.
Birds of a feather flock together.
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a
lifetime.
When one door closes, a bigger door opens.
Interestingly enough, it’s a large part of how The English
Schoolhouse came to be.
Exactly two summers ago I found myself looking for a
job. Something lightweight. Teaching is what I do, and what I’ve done for
the last ten years. It made the most
sense to look for something part-time at a language school. I found an ad on Wanted in Rome’s website,
and applied. Got the interview. Nailed it.
Really got along with the owner.
She seemed to be passionate about education, like me, and was a rather
pleasant person. The Texan in me likes
to friend anyone and everyone…the Roman resident in me now knows better.
She gushed over my credentials. “You have a Masters AND a Doctorate in
education,” she began, “you could write our manuals!” Though the language school she owns had been
open for several years at that point, she was still sorely lacking in basic
materials for a well-established school—like parent and teacher manuals. Everything she had, she’d stolen straight
from other language schools. “Yeah, I
could definitely do that.” She proceeded
to offer me a position teaching with a quick promotion to Assistant Director,
as well as teacher training opportunities.
I was thrilled, but before accepting I divulged, “There’s just one
thing…I want to have another baby soon.”
I’d been warned by my husband, close friends, and even acquaintances NOT
to tell a potential employer about family planning details under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. I disagreed--especially in this case. I didn’t want the job if pregnancy would be
an issue. “Of course that’s no problem!”
she lied when I told her, “You could bring the baby to work! I’ll get a
substitute when it’s time for you to deliver!
You’d be the Assistant Director!”
Her family came over for dinner at our home. When I showed her husband my nearly 300-page
doctoral dissertation, he scoffed and said,
“Your job is to make us money…a lot of money.” “Wow,” I said, marveling at his glibness…but
then I thought to myself, “It makes sense.”
The owner had based her school motto off of a business model. “I noticed that all big businesses have three
words as their motto—like look at McDonald’s! I’m lovin’ it. See!
Three words! So that’s how I
picked mine,” she said. I’ve been a
teacher since 2001…I have NEVER heard of any educator or principal basing the
motto of a school or classroom off of McDonald’s or any other franchise. That’s
the thing with these language schools in Rome…they’re big business. I would estimate that 99% of the owners have
absolutely no background in education, and 95% have never taught a course in
their lives. At the end of the evening, my husband closed the door gently
behind them, looked me square in the eye, and said, “Bad people. Never again.”
You can guess how the rest of the story goes…
-I worked all summer on those manuals with no written
contract, of course.
-When I told her I was pregnant the very next month, she
took the job offer off of the table. She
still had not paid for the manuals.
-I spent FIVE months having to negotiate for payment while
doing absurd “revisions”.
-I obtained a copyright for the original material I’d
written, which she put in writing via email that she would not include.
(ummmm…that’s illegal). But these types
of people feel like they are above the law.
They are adult bullies. They need
a time out…and a large slice of humble pie.
So here’s the silver lining:
When the owner of this school told me that she could no
longer offer me the position she promised, I immediately called my friend Kissy
and bawled- mostly because I felt like an idiot. Everyone had told me not to mention even
wanting a baby, and there I was in downtown Rome sobbing because I’d just lost
a job due to being pregnant.
I got home, told my husband what happened, and then jumped
on Wanted in Rome’s website again. I
found a small ad asking for a teacher for private lessons in the center. I called the number and spoke to an American
woman who was moving on to a new position and wanted to find a new teacher for her
students. During the conversation she
shared that she was in the middle of a miscarriage. My heart stopped. Here I was calling her teary-eyed because I’d
lost my job as a result of being pregnant, and there she was on the other end
looking to fill a position and losing her child. That moment was a life-defining one for
me. She graciously gave me her list of
contacts. I met this woman once, and
never spoke to her again…God how I want her to know what a huge role she played
in my life.
I began doing private lessons the following September, and
slowly but surely gained an ever-growing list of students of all ages…some of
the most genuine, fantastic individuals I’ve ever met. It’s with their support as well as the
support of family and close friends that I decided to open my own language
school, The English Schoolhouse. Our
doors open for the first time tomorrow morning at 8:30 for Summer Camp.
When I look back on the story, I cannot deny that though her
actions were completely repulsive and at times illegal, the owner of that
language school was a huge blessing to me. I often joke that when I run into her again
(because that’s how the universe works—you ALWAYS run into people again), I will
thank her. I really do mean that.
I remember the first time I had a meeting to sign the
“initial contract” with her school (I eventually refused because at the time I
wasn’t fluent enough in Italian to understand it, and my mama always taught me
you don’t sign things you don’t understand)—it was the first time I’d met her
husband as well. Shortly into the
conversation her husband blurted out, “I don’t want to hear about you opening a
language school of your own.” “How
strange…”I thought, but instead I asked him, “Why would you say that?” “Well, you could do it easily. You’ve got the talent and the education and
the experience…you’ve got the looks (What the hell does that have to do with
anything?) You’re young. You could do it easily.”
It’s so funny how easily people will put you in a box if you
allow them.
It’s so interesting how easily people will make plans for
you if you allow them.
It seems so easy to tell someone who seems like they’re
beneath you what their place is.
Even as I open the school I oftentimes think-It’s so funny
how people will attempt to hijack your dream and try to change it into
something that works for them if you allow them.
It’s so liberating to say, “No. You can’t.”
To the owner of the language school and her uncouth husband
(I know you’re reading this because you follow everything I do…I can see how
many times you click on The English Schoolhouse’s LinkedIn profile, btw):
This is what resilience looks like.
This is not an underdog story. I was always on top. This is a story of grossly
underestimating. This is a story of when
you try to take advantage and things don’t go according to plan. This is a
wake-up call. Your moral compass is
broken.
And just in case our paths never meet again, I do want to
say two things with deepest sincerity:
Shame on you
and
Thank you.
The American in me wanted to sue—part of me still does,
actually. I mean, why not? I have several friends who have been in
similar situations and have sued the language schools and won. I contacted the Workers Rights Union and they
said I definitely have a case. But,
unlike you guys, it’s not all about the money for me. If we were in the states, Judge Judy would’ve
had this sorted out in 4 minutes. I kept
the incriminating email exchanges, just in case. The
Roman resident in me is content for the moment having told MY side of the
story, because only God knows what you all tell people, and having digitally
vomited the pill you thought had my name on it.
You can swallow it…right before you fall asleep nightly with your guilty
conscience.
I’ll be tweeting about this blog entry under varying
hashtags beginning today and for weeks to come because, at the end of the day,
it’s a good story with a happy ending.
Just for kicks, here are the first five:
#TheEnglishSchoolhouse
#whatgoesaroundcomesaround
#Iwillnotbesilenced
#Iwillnotbestopped
#notbitterjustbetter
Dr. Tamara Pizzoli
The English Schoolhouse
www.theenglishschoolhouse.com
It still blows my mind that some people mistreat pregnant women instead of being supportive.
ReplyDeleteWell, you'll see your dream flourish, while this woman is left with a husband who still puts money in front of kindness.
You're the best :)
Thanks so much for your comment, Fabiana! It's with the love and support of families like yours that my dream of having a school has become a reality! :0)
DeleteThank you for sharing your experience! Have had a somewhat similar experience and so this post has really resonated with me. I really do believe that people - even the crummy ones - come into your life for a reason. Clearly they were a stepping stone in your life, and step over them you did ... onward and upwards to bigger things! Congratulations! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your comment and kind words! I read a quote recently that said something like life would be much easier if we could all just accept problems as potential blessings. It was much more eloquent. But I shared because I KNOW/KNEW I wasn't the only person this had happened to...and WHO do these people think they are?! They expect "us" to just smile, grin, and bear it. I won't. It just wouldn't stay in-I had to share it...and strangers and loved ones have been so supportive. So again, I thank you for your comment and I hope you stop by the blog again soon! :0)
DeleteWow, what an ordeal! But, to add another anecdote for you, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Congratulations on your pregnancy, on starting your own school, and on getting out from under those human leeches! Quite the experience, but you're most definitely now better off.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment! And you're certainly right about that additional anecdote. I'm stealing the term "human leeches" and I plan on incorporating it into my vocabulary regularly. :0)
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